Pink & Blue in Love...(or something like it!)

Dear “It” Girl,

Who among us hasn’t given our man an ultimatum at one point or another? If you are like most women, your ultimatums stem from the fact that you just need a little more reassurance on where your relationship stands. Often, this involves the “L” word. (i.e. You feel it and say it, and he doesn’t. Or does he? Do drunk “I love you”s’ count?)

Ms. Bradshaw herself is no stranger to the ultimatum. Sometimes her men need a little training. (After all, she was with Mr. Big for TEN YEARS before he ditched her at the alter!) Consider this:

Carrie: Now I've laid down a gauntlet. He either has to say "I love you" back or I guess I'm going to have to break up with him.
Charlotte: Well, how long are you going to give him?
Carrie: Well, I didn't put an expiration date on the sentiment, but I figure it's got the shelf life of a dairy product. It's going to start to curdle in about a week.

Does this really come down to the male penchant for non-commitment or the innate and learned differences in gender?

Hmmm..women being more expressive about feelings in relationships and men failing to “communicate” about what they are thinking is as old as time. It is also quite stereotypical, but as most people know, there is often some truth to stereotypes. If you can stand and appreciate the differences between pink and blue, you may enjoy the following poem I came across online. Just remember, there are always male and female exceptions to the rule. There is also yellow.

Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT

Light His Fire, Light Her Fire

A woman goes through life with her heart.
A man goes through life with his head.

A man says, "I think," which is the logical response...
A woman says, "I feel," the emotional response.

A man sees the whole or the overview.
A woman sees the details.

A man says,
"In general, what happened?"
A woman says,
"Tell me exactly, word for word, what happened?"

A man works on goals.
A woman works on relationships.

A man says, "I need to feel good about what I do."
A woman says, "I need to feel good about who we are."

A man needs little or no preparation for sex.
A woman needs hours of emotional and mental preparation.

A man is stimulated by sight.
A woman is stimulated by words.