The joys of being proactive with men!

Dear “It" Girl,

We women can sure invest a lot of our precious time discussing, complaining, and venting about the men in our lives. We talk about what they are doing, what they aren’t doing, who we want them to be, and who we are hoping they won’t become.
Is it doing us any good in terms of making positive changes in our relationships? For most, that answer is both yes and no. Yes, ladies, such “man talk” with friends can be like therapy, promoting considerable change, but if you aren’t willing to act, you aren’t going to get the results you want.

It is my belief that women generally need to be more proactive when dealing with men. When looking for potential boyfriend/hubby material, we ladies sometimes need to swallow our pride and ditch the gender expectations. We do have to let men chase, but if we really want healthy, satisfying relationships, we must make ourselves vulnerable at times. This may mean initiating eye contact with a cute stranger, calling the guy who you really liked but never heard from after date number two , or sending out more than just winks to potential matches on Match.com. If we are already in a relationships, it may mean telling them exactly what we want instead of hoping they’ll guess.

Our love lives are one heck of a journey with inevitable bumps along the road. We always have the choice to be in the driver’s seat or remain in the passenger seat. The healthiest relationships are a mix of both, but ultimately we need to have some control of where things are going. If things get messed up, we can always turn around. Being proactive will better help us enjoy the ride-wherever it may lead us!

Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT