When he changes his mind “like a girl changes clothes”: Make up his mind for him!

Dear “It” Girl,

You know that Katy Perry song, right? (No, not the one about the taste of Cherry Chapstick!)

The chorus goes like this:
“'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up”

In my opinion, in the long run, the only fun of mixing hot and cold involves jumping from a hot tub to a pool! When it comes to relationships, there should be no place for such confusion.

If you are with a seemingly great guy whose main flaw is that he can’t make up his mind about you, make it up for him! You do not deserve to be ignored one minute and cherished the next.

You can let your boy feign confusion. I stress feign, because he is probably perfectly clear on the ratio of the time that he spends happy to the time he spends annoyed with you. He is clear on whether or not he wants commitment or wants his freedom. He knows if he likes you more or less than the other girl he is trying to hook up with. Don’t risk your self esteem and sanity- Stop letting him play you like that, “It” Girl!

The bottom line is: If he doesn’t want to be exclusive with you, you should have no confusion. Your options are open. They should be open until you, he, and, or someone else decides you both should be exclusive. No hot. No cold. Consider you and this man luke warm.
Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT