Actually, this guy is a lot cooler than the one you are dating.

Dear "It" Girl,

So, I know this guy. I guess you could say that he's "got it goin on". Not only is he smart and funny, but he's physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially secure. He's cute too. A man of his word, he calls when he says he will and follows through with the plans he makes. Although he's never short on compliments for the lucky ladies in his life, his actions always speak louder than his words. He's not afraid of his feelings, and he's generous with affection whether in the form of a hug, kiss, comforting smile, or thoughtful gift. And guess what? He thinks YOU are the most beautiful woman in the world.

And you are not dating him because……………..?????

Ah, you "settled" for the one you are with. Was it because of your own loneliness or insecurity? Did you really think he was as good as you were going to get?

Yes, I understand. We females as a collective whole have been suffering from low self esteem, body image issues, and anxiety over men with wandering eyes since the beginning of civilization. Now, as we approach 2010, women- especially twenty something women who may be eager to marry and pop out babies- have a whole new deck of cards to play with. Between the normalization of casual sex, society's thumbs up to men dating pumas and cougars, and the threat modern day technology poses for monogamy, relationship insecurity among women runs as rampant as STDs on a college campuses.

However, if you were dating a guy like this guy I know, you'd be more likely at ease in your relationship and less likely to alternate between eating potato chips alone and sobbing into your boyfriend pillow on Saturday nights. With the approach of the new year, it is time to take a relationship inventory. Does your current guy meet your basic needs? Is he capable of giving you what you want today or tomorrow or are you starving for more?

You feel like you are missing out on some of the courses, huh? Yeah, he is definitely cooler than the one you are dating. Are you going to do something about it?

Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT