Are you fed up with American boys and considering a Eurodate?

Dear "It" Girl,

In a world of globalization, should you date locally or expand your potential for finding Mr. Right by dating people from other countries who have settled in the US?

Although research shows most people actually do best with those who are most like them in relationships and my own experience working with couples proves that cultural differences can be difficult to overcome, there are indeed benefits of courtship with a man born overseas. Such may include the ability to learn a different way of life and language or travel to a different country.

Currently, I am doing research for an article I am writing on the differences between European and American dating, as I have encountered a good number of Americans in NYC dating Europeans. An American considering a Eurodate may benefit from learning a thing or two before stepping out with her foreigner. If you want him to have the passion we Americans associate with Europe-for more than just food and wine and maybe for you-consider the fact that European men appreciate ladies who act like ladies and appreciate their culture.

Thus far, I have learned that Europeans are generally more relaxed about dating and do not subscribe to the "rules" that many Americans follow in the dating game regarding appropriate time frames for sexual activity and monogamy or even who pays. (You wouldn't really hear of a "three date rule" in Europe or be horrified by a man who let a woman split the tab.) This is not to say that all Europeans are less formal and more liberal in terms of dating. In fact, compared to Americans, in some ways they are not. Often, they are not as open to dating several people casually as Americans do. Generally, they are more likely to meet through friends at a dinner party and even look strongly down upon dating someone one met in a bar in say, France. A lot of times, they date to get into a relationship- often right away. For instance, in England, there really isn't much of a dating trend, and accepting a dinner invitation from a man implies commitment! However, traditions vary by region, and there are always exceptions to the rule.

Speaking of rules, if you are American, you probably want one right now, and I'll leave you with this. You my readers, tend to lead fabulously full and career oriented city lives. On one hand this is great, because a European man will love a cultured, diverse woman with many interests, but if your career is your main interest, you may not be his match made in heaven. European men and women don't typically define themselves by their careers in the way lots of Northeast Coast Americans do, and he might be insulted if your first question is "What do you do?". Take a more relaxed approach in the early stages of dating a European if you love your work but also have other interests. Even if you are really into your career, you don't have to create the dynamic of a job interview. Lighten up a little and you'll be on your way to Eurodate number two!

Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT