New Year, New Man: Nope. Not if you do this, sister!

Dear "It" Girl,

I had a college professor at Rutgers who always said "And if you learn nothing else this semester, learn this…….." . So I'll take a stab at it myself for those who are hoping to make positive changes in their love lives for 2010. If you forget all of the insight that this blog provided since I started it in July 2009, remember this:

"If you always do what you've always done, then you'll always have what you've always got."

Simple concept, huh? Yet change is no piece of cake, my It girls; so take baby steps every day. If you want to make this your year to find and maintain a relationship with someone special and worthy of your love, you are going to have to analyze your life and figure out the things that are preventing you from finding him. (And if you need help, I'm still taking on new Relationship Coaching clients with Master Matchmakers!)

For a lot of women, this eye-opening process results in an easy solution: literally opening their eyes. You know, those two big brown things that are always glued to the Blackberry? Ladies, you are not approachable when you are walking on the street yapping away on your cell phones, with your head buried in a book at Starbucks, with your hands folded across your chest at the bar, or your Ipod in constant use on the train. You say you want to meet a man, but judging by your behavior, it is no wonder you are spending another NYE alone!

I recently met a woman who told me she refuses to meet a man through friends (embarrassing), at a bar (low lives), at work (too risky), online (desperate), or in a supermarket (unrealistic). She's a prime candidate for coaching if I ever saw one.

If you have a similar mentality, I promise you the only place you'll meet a quality man is in your dreams. Get over yourself. Does it really matter where you meet him? Isn't the whole point that you met someone you really like/love. If you are scared to tell people your-how-we-met-story, you can always lie. (But the Match.com cover up stories are so 2009.)

For 2010, resolve that you will be proactive about meeting men. Take the bull by the horns, and write me an email telling me your (true) how we met story.

Best Wishes for a prosperous new year!

Love, Rachel Russo, MS,MFT