Posts
Dear "It" Girl,
Tomorrow marks the first day of Septemeber. Are you as sad as I am to trade in your flip flops for your cow girl boots? (By the way, those new legging boots all over the runway lately - I believe they will be the "It" Girl's MUST HAVE this fall!)
Ah, the end of summer- a particulatly sad time for many East Coasters who can kiss goodbye those lazy, poolside days. For many women throughout the nation, Labor Day is the one last chance to properly end the fun times (and rock that favorite white dress once more!) It is also a source of stress for many who have to visit families and go on vacations with their long-term partners. Are you one of the women who worry that a vacation with your man will turn into an bonafide disaster>
I so, I wrote an article for you! The paragraph above was actually the first in this week's Beauties On The Go Relationship article. Check out the following aritlce for surviving Labor Day with your "It" boy!
http://beautiesonthego.ning.com/forum/topics/the-recipe-for-the-perfect
Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT
Monday, August 31, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Follow your Intuition
Dear “It” Girl,
Perhaps, Jewel said it best in her hit song :
“Follow your heart
Your intuition
It will lead you in the right direction
Let go of your mind
Your Intuition
It's easy to find
Just follow your heart baby”
You know what’s best for you, “It” girl. Look no further than inside yourself for all the answers to your questions.
The problems only occur when you ignore that little voice inside your head. You did it anyway and then you did it again. Before you know it, you are in love. With the wrong guy- the one your mother warned you about. It’s okay, what’s done is done. It will build your character. It’s never too late to change your mind and start listening to your intuition.
Your intuition won’t steer you wrong. When you are ready to listen to it, everything that is meant to happen will fall into place.
Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT
Perhaps, Jewel said it best in her hit song :
“Follow your heart
Your intuition
It will lead you in the right direction
Let go of your mind
Your Intuition
It's easy to find
Just follow your heart baby”
You know what’s best for you, “It” girl. Look no further than inside yourself for all the answers to your questions.
The problems only occur when you ignore that little voice inside your head. You did it anyway and then you did it again. Before you know it, you are in love. With the wrong guy- the one your mother warned you about. It’s okay, what’s done is done. It will build your character. It’s never too late to change your mind and start listening to your intuition.
Your intuition won’t steer you wrong. When you are ready to listen to it, everything that is meant to happen will fall into place.
Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT
Monday, August 24, 2009
Got Chemistry?
Dear "It" Girl,
For an experiment that doesn’t involve a Bunsen burner, initiate a conversation with one of your coupled female friends about chemistry. Ask her about the energy that makes her current relationship sizzle. When you inquire about what it is that sparks such a powerful attraction, does she respond with the universal-It’s-just-something-about-him-default variety? Never mind the seemingly impossible definition, the real question remains: How the heck can we ladies find it?
Thanks to popular women’s magazines, we’ve all been twirling our hair and batting our eyelashes since we began wearing training bras, but how many of us have grabbed hold of true chemistry? If it’s been a while since you’ve thought things just felt right with a man, consider the following chemistry boosting tips:
In a world where you can be anyone, be yourself! The notion of being our true selves increases our chances of finding love exponentially. Many men will agree that there is nothing more sexy than a woman who has found what she loves and loves doing it. Self-help gurus everywhere continue to spell out the benefits of living a passionate, authentic life, but there are still so many women out there who haven’t found out who they are and what turns them on. (They do, however, know what turns him on!) Don’t pretend to be someone you are not in hope of snagging the best of the man pool. Great men like you to have your own opinions, interests, and lives outside of them. They’ll soon catch on that your real motivation for golf had nothing to do with, well, golf. When the show is over, the chemistry, too, will proceed to the nearest exit.
Say what you really mean! Didn’t your mother tell you that honesty was the best policy? When it comes to relationships, we must speak from our hearts and be true to our words. Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and it is built with genuine communication. If your man hurts you, let him know how you feel. If he can listen and share his own truth, you can connect in a way that will strengthen your bond.
And when you’ve found those fireworks……………. Don't give it all up at once. I'm not going to either. To read the last bit of this article, check it out on a site that I write for every Monday. View it here:
http://beautiesonthego.ning.com/forum/topics/got-chemistry
Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT
For an experiment that doesn’t involve a Bunsen burner, initiate a conversation with one of your coupled female friends about chemistry. Ask her about the energy that makes her current relationship sizzle. When you inquire about what it is that sparks such a powerful attraction, does she respond with the universal-It’s-just-something-about-him-default variety? Never mind the seemingly impossible definition, the real question remains: How the heck can we ladies find it?
Thanks to popular women’s magazines, we’ve all been twirling our hair and batting our eyelashes since we began wearing training bras, but how many of us have grabbed hold of true chemistry? If it’s been a while since you’ve thought things just felt right with a man, consider the following chemistry boosting tips:
In a world where you can be anyone, be yourself! The notion of being our true selves increases our chances of finding love exponentially. Many men will agree that there is nothing more sexy than a woman who has found what she loves and loves doing it. Self-help gurus everywhere continue to spell out the benefits of living a passionate, authentic life, but there are still so many women out there who haven’t found out who they are and what turns them on. (They do, however, know what turns him on!) Don’t pretend to be someone you are not in hope of snagging the best of the man pool. Great men like you to have your own opinions, interests, and lives outside of them. They’ll soon catch on that your real motivation for golf had nothing to do with, well, golf. When the show is over, the chemistry, too, will proceed to the nearest exit.
Say what you really mean! Didn’t your mother tell you that honesty was the best policy? When it comes to relationships, we must speak from our hearts and be true to our words. Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and it is built with genuine communication. If your man hurts you, let him know how you feel. If he can listen and share his own truth, you can connect in a way that will strengthen your bond.
And when you’ve found those fireworks……………. Don't give it all up at once. I'm not going to either. To read the last bit of this article, check it out on a site that I write for every Monday. View it here:
http://beautiesonthego.ning.com/forum/topics/got-chemistry
Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT
Friday, August 21, 2009
Love is an emotion that......
Dear "It" Girl,
If you are like me and most women I know, you appreciate a good quote about love every once in a while. Here is one that I scribbled on a napkin after browsing through Karrine Steffans' The Vixen Manual: How to Find, Seduce & Keep the Man You Want at my favorite Barnes & Noble:
"Love is an emotion that's often involuntary, independent of choice, and practical decision making."
Yes, love makes us do some crazy things. It can be all consuming and beyond borderline obsessive. It can hurt us more than we ever thought possible and make us happier than we've ever known.
Then, there is the age-old debate: Is love enough? For some relationships it is, when there is a deep, mutual, love, but for others, a lot more is necessary to make things work through the inevitable ups and downs of life.
Although society (and Hollywood) promote the notion of living happily ever after with "the One," you will probably love many people throughout your lifetime. Some will stay, some will go, but they will all leave an impression in your mind and your heart.
Love, Rachel Russo MS, MFT
If you are like me and most women I know, you appreciate a good quote about love every once in a while. Here is one that I scribbled on a napkin after browsing through Karrine Steffans' The Vixen Manual: How to Find, Seduce & Keep the Man You Want at my favorite Barnes & Noble:
"Love is an emotion that's often involuntary, independent of choice, and practical decision making."
Yes, love makes us do some crazy things. It can be all consuming and beyond borderline obsessive. It can hurt us more than we ever thought possible and make us happier than we've ever known.
Then, there is the age-old debate: Is love enough? For some relationships it is, when there is a deep, mutual, love, but for others, a lot more is necessary to make things work through the inevitable ups and downs of life.
Although society (and Hollywood) promote the notion of living happily ever after with "the One," you will probably love many people throughout your lifetime. Some will stay, some will go, but they will all leave an impression in your mind and your heart.
Love, Rachel Russo MS, MFT
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Friends With Benefits: How An "It" Girl Can Handle The Pros & Cons
Dear "It" Girl,
Clearly, friends-with-benefits -relationships are increasingly common for college students and twenty-somethings, who spend a good portion of their youth in relationships sans commitment. While such no strings-attached situations can work beautifully for short or even long periods of time, they can get messy for one or both parties involved. These non-relationships usually leave at least one person considering the possibility of more.
Many people believe that the conclusion of a friends-with-benefits -relationship is most difficult for women because they are the ones who typically become more attached- compliments of their socialization as females coupled with the release of oxytoicn. Yes, it is often easier for men to compartmentalize, viewing sex as a purely physical act, but if the sexual relationship goes on long enough, emotions make their debut-even for the boys.
When one person catches feelings, things change. At this point, there are strings attached-whether they are acknowledged or not. It is best for both partners to re-evaluate and consider whether or not the non-relationship should end or progress to the next level. The current trend, however, seems to be an increasingly universal aversion to the "what are we" chat. (Women know how much men hate it, and they've grown to hate initiating it!) Consequently, there are many young people whose love lives can be defined as grey blobs of ambivalence.
Often, these situations turn into competitions over who could wear their poker face the longest! Perhaps, the one who recognized the development of his or her feelings first tries to deny them for some time, believing their relations will not be affected. (Alternately, they think that the feelings will eventually go away if they aren't reciprocated.) The other partner is all too happy to pretend of their nonexistence or maybe create a little distance so as not to lead the other on too much. Needless to say, it is common for these relationships to go on for much longer than they should.
Yes, friends-with-benefits relationships can be comfortable, convenient, and quite fun. They provide a solution for those who don't have the time or desire to date and offer a way for both men and women to keep their options open and have their go-to-person for when things get lonely. Indeed, such interaction can be a safe and ideal way to explore healthy sexuality and build relationship skills with a partner.
The best way to manage friends with benefits is to be honest. Make sure you both understand what the relationship is and is not. If it's no longer fun, just cut the ties before things get too messy.
Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT
Clearly, friends-with-benefits -relationships are increasingly common for college students and twenty-somethings, who spend a good portion of their youth in relationships sans commitment. While such no strings-attached situations can work beautifully for short or even long periods of time, they can get messy for one or both parties involved. These non-relationships usually leave at least one person considering the possibility of more.
Many people believe that the conclusion of a friends-with-benefits -relationship is most difficult for women because they are the ones who typically become more attached- compliments of their socialization as females coupled with the release of oxytoicn. Yes, it is often easier for men to compartmentalize, viewing sex as a purely physical act, but if the sexual relationship goes on long enough, emotions make their debut-even for the boys.
When one person catches feelings, things change. At this point, there are strings attached-whether they are acknowledged or not. It is best for both partners to re-evaluate and consider whether or not the non-relationship should end or progress to the next level. The current trend, however, seems to be an increasingly universal aversion to the "what are we" chat. (Women know how much men hate it, and they've grown to hate initiating it!) Consequently, there are many young people whose love lives can be defined as grey blobs of ambivalence.
Often, these situations turn into competitions over who could wear their poker face the longest! Perhaps, the one who recognized the development of his or her feelings first tries to deny them for some time, believing their relations will not be affected. (Alternately, they think that the feelings will eventually go away if they aren't reciprocated.) The other partner is all too happy to pretend of their nonexistence or maybe create a little distance so as not to lead the other on too much. Needless to say, it is common for these relationships to go on for much longer than they should.
Yes, friends-with-benefits relationships can be comfortable, convenient, and quite fun. They provide a solution for those who don't have the time or desire to date and offer a way for both men and women to keep their options open and have their go-to-person for when things get lonely. Indeed, such interaction can be a safe and ideal way to explore healthy sexuality and build relationship skills with a partner.
The best way to manage friends with benefits is to be honest. Make sure you both understand what the relationship is and is not. If it's no longer fun, just cut the ties before things get too messy.
Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT
Monday, August 17, 2009
My interview with womenandbiz.com
Dear "It" Girl,
What follows is a copy of my recent print interview, which can be found at http://www.womenandbiz.com/2009/08/14/interview-rachel-russo-relationship-coach/
Check it out to get a clear idea of what I do in terms of relationship coaching. Womenandbiz.com is a great resource for a lady such as yourself. Have a look at the site and stay a while! Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT
Interview with Rachel Russo, Relationship Coach
Written by: Elisa Balabram
EB - What was your education and professional experience before becoming an entrepreneur? Were they helpful to starting your businesses?
RR - I received my bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Rutgers University and my master’s degree in Marriage & Family Therapy from Iona College. After graduating from Rutgers, I took the opportunity to pursue “a unique social work opportunity” with a start-up online matchmaking company in NYC. I then went on to do matchmaking, marketing, and recruiting for well-known companies like Great Date Now and MasterMatchmakers. In between my employment with these organizations, I began finding my own freelance clients for Relationship Coaching. I found these people through Craigslist.com, Lambent Services, and soon from the referrals of satisfied clients.
The profound understanding of human nature that I acquired from my education is a tremendous asset to my coaching practice. My post-modern, solution-focused training as a therapist has provided an excellent foundation for helping clients in a coaching context. I have learned a lot about relationships from doing couples counseling and through my first-hand experience interviewing singles for matchmaking companies. Years of recording feedback on the dating experience of men and women have provided me with valuable lessons on the impact of gender on relationships. A combination of such experience coupled with my own worldview has shaped my practice as a Relationship Coach.
EB - When did you establish your businesses?
RR - I have been working as a freelance Relationship Coach since September of 2007.
EB - Why did you decide to start your business?
RR - I decided to become involved in the business of relationship coaching because it seemed like a natural progression for someone with my education and experience in the dating industry. Coaching was something I was bound to fall into after years of analyzing my friends’ relationships and offering them advice at 2 AM! I began by creating and remaking single’s online dating profiles for sites like Match.com. I soon discovered that I was really good at it. I decided to launch a career as a Relationship Coach, because I found a huge need that I was uniquely qualified to fill. Besides, it seemed fun!
EB - What’s your company’s mission?
RR - My mission is to save the world one relationship at a time. I help people find and maintain self-love as well as romantic love by promoting change in unhealthy thoughts and patterns of relating. I encourage an exploration of the ways in which gender, culture, media, socio-economic status, and family-of-origin experience have shaped their self-image and relationships. In my work as a Relationship Coach, I encourage clients to broaden their thinking about the process of finding a partner and use new strategies to attract and keep their ideal match. As a freelance writer, I create interesting, thought-provoking pieces that challenge and inspire people to be in more satisfying and fulfilling relationships.
EB - Tell us about your business and the services your provide.
RR - I offer Relationship Coaching via Internet, phone, and in person to singles as well as those who are coupled. Ideally, I meet everyone that I am working with at least once; although an hour long phone interview can produce just as much success. After an initial consultation in which I get to know someone and what he or she is looking for, I develop a coaching plan that will help the client achieve relationship goals. These plans are collaborative and personalized, designed to help a client get past the obstacles that prevent him/her from having the desired relationship. I give people homework assignments-journal writing tasks, exercises, and experiments that they do between sessions. I make sure that they are accountable for carrying out the “Relationship Vision” that we work hard to co-create in the initial sessions. All of my coaching sessions include powerful questions that bring out people’s strengths.
I work with a lot of singles who are looking to meet people both on and offline. I offer consultations in which I make personalized suggestions based on my experience. I conduct research as to which dating sites, matchmaking services, and events would be most suitable for a particular client. One of my specialties is Online Profile Creation and Profile Makeovers. I have a way of obtaining personal details and anecdotes from clients and then crafting profiles that truly stand out from the rest. I also write personals ads and letters of introduction to potential dates. I assist people in finding dates on various websites and often do all the online matchmaking for busy professionals who don’t have time to sift through lengthy lists of matches.
For people who prefer to meet their matches offline or gain confidence interacting with the ones they are already dating, I act as a Wing-woman and offer tips after observing their behavior in different contexts. I am happy to accompany clients to cultural and singles events, parties, coffeehouses, bars/loungers, galleries, museums, lectures, charity, functions, etc. If I work with a man who has his eye on a lady at the gym, I’ll request a guest pass and chat her up on the elliptical.
EB - What do you find most rewarding as an entrepreneur?
RR - To put it simply, I mostly get to do what I want. I enjoy the creative freedom of my work. I like pursuing things that are true to myself and my mission. I benefit from organizing my own schedule and working at the times when I have the most energy. A past employer called me a “free bird,” and she was right. I just want to live my life to the fullest and help others carry out their own dreams, sans the limitations of a 9 to 5.
Check out the link above for more interview questions regarding advice for you and my plans for the future.
What follows is a copy of my recent print interview, which can be found at http://www.womenandbiz.com/2009/08/14/interview-rachel-russo-relationship-coach/
Check it out to get a clear idea of what I do in terms of relationship coaching. Womenandbiz.com is a great resource for a lady such as yourself. Have a look at the site and stay a while! Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT
Interview with Rachel Russo, Relationship Coach
Written by: Elisa Balabram
EB - What was your education and professional experience before becoming an entrepreneur? Were they helpful to starting your businesses?
RR - I received my bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Rutgers University and my master’s degree in Marriage & Family Therapy from Iona College. After graduating from Rutgers, I took the opportunity to pursue “a unique social work opportunity” with a start-up online matchmaking company in NYC. I then went on to do matchmaking, marketing, and recruiting for well-known companies like Great Date Now and MasterMatchmakers. In between my employment with these organizations, I began finding my own freelance clients for Relationship Coaching. I found these people through Craigslist.com, Lambent Services, and soon from the referrals of satisfied clients.
The profound understanding of human nature that I acquired from my education is a tremendous asset to my coaching practice. My post-modern, solution-focused training as a therapist has provided an excellent foundation for helping clients in a coaching context. I have learned a lot about relationships from doing couples counseling and through my first-hand experience interviewing singles for matchmaking companies. Years of recording feedback on the dating experience of men and women have provided me with valuable lessons on the impact of gender on relationships. A combination of such experience coupled with my own worldview has shaped my practice as a Relationship Coach.
EB - When did you establish your businesses?
RR - I have been working as a freelance Relationship Coach since September of 2007.
EB - Why did you decide to start your business?
RR - I decided to become involved in the business of relationship coaching because it seemed like a natural progression for someone with my education and experience in the dating industry. Coaching was something I was bound to fall into after years of analyzing my friends’ relationships and offering them advice at 2 AM! I began by creating and remaking single’s online dating profiles for sites like Match.com. I soon discovered that I was really good at it. I decided to launch a career as a Relationship Coach, because I found a huge need that I was uniquely qualified to fill. Besides, it seemed fun!
EB - What’s your company’s mission?
RR - My mission is to save the world one relationship at a time. I help people find and maintain self-love as well as romantic love by promoting change in unhealthy thoughts and patterns of relating. I encourage an exploration of the ways in which gender, culture, media, socio-economic status, and family-of-origin experience have shaped their self-image and relationships. In my work as a Relationship Coach, I encourage clients to broaden their thinking about the process of finding a partner and use new strategies to attract and keep their ideal match. As a freelance writer, I create interesting, thought-provoking pieces that challenge and inspire people to be in more satisfying and fulfilling relationships.
EB - Tell us about your business and the services your provide.
RR - I offer Relationship Coaching via Internet, phone, and in person to singles as well as those who are coupled. Ideally, I meet everyone that I am working with at least once; although an hour long phone interview can produce just as much success. After an initial consultation in which I get to know someone and what he or she is looking for, I develop a coaching plan that will help the client achieve relationship goals. These plans are collaborative and personalized, designed to help a client get past the obstacles that prevent him/her from having the desired relationship. I give people homework assignments-journal writing tasks, exercises, and experiments that they do between sessions. I make sure that they are accountable for carrying out the “Relationship Vision” that we work hard to co-create in the initial sessions. All of my coaching sessions include powerful questions that bring out people’s strengths.
I work with a lot of singles who are looking to meet people both on and offline. I offer consultations in which I make personalized suggestions based on my experience. I conduct research as to which dating sites, matchmaking services, and events would be most suitable for a particular client. One of my specialties is Online Profile Creation and Profile Makeovers. I have a way of obtaining personal details and anecdotes from clients and then crafting profiles that truly stand out from the rest. I also write personals ads and letters of introduction to potential dates. I assist people in finding dates on various websites and often do all the online matchmaking for busy professionals who don’t have time to sift through lengthy lists of matches.
For people who prefer to meet their matches offline or gain confidence interacting with the ones they are already dating, I act as a Wing-woman and offer tips after observing their behavior in different contexts. I am happy to accompany clients to cultural and singles events, parties, coffeehouses, bars/loungers, galleries, museums, lectures, charity, functions, etc. If I work with a man who has his eye on a lady at the gym, I’ll request a guest pass and chat her up on the elliptical.
EB - What do you find most rewarding as an entrepreneur?
RR - To put it simply, I mostly get to do what I want. I enjoy the creative freedom of my work. I like pursuing things that are true to myself and my mission. I benefit from organizing my own schedule and working at the times when I have the most energy. A past employer called me a “free bird,” and she was right. I just want to live my life to the fullest and help others carry out their own dreams, sans the limitations of a 9 to 5.
Check out the link above for more interview questions regarding advice for you and my plans for the future.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Tips For An "It" Girl's Online Dating Profile
Dear "It" Girl,
As a Relationship Coach, I regularly help clients create and makeover their online dating profiles for sites like Match.com and Jdate.com. I can pick up men and women of any age with the written word! It's all about the profile. Here are some tips for how to make the most of yours.
Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT
1. Browse other profiles
Your goal in writing your online dating profile should be to make yourself stand out from the rest of the pack. Read profiles of both male and female members on the sites to which you subscribe to get a general feel for what people are communicating about themselves online. You can borrow an idea or two from a really well-written profile, but try not to copy others or sound to cliché. Your profile should be written from your own unique voice.
2. Show - don’t tell
It is much better to paint a picture of yourself using creative, personal descriptions and life experiences than to simply string together a list of adjectives that can be used to describe just about anyone. If you were the type of guy who appreciates a lady with a sense of humor, would you be more likely to contact the girl who describes herself as funny or the one who highlights a few details from a typical encounter with friends that had her laughing until milk nearly runs out of her nose?
3. Lighten up
An online profile is not the place to share even an ounce of negativity about your past relationships. A profile that states what you are looking for in a positive fashion, as opposed to one that lists all of your turn offs, is much more appealing.
4. A picture is worth a thousand words
All of the online dating experts are in agreement when it comes to photos: you must post clear, recent, and high quality photos to get a large volume of responses on any site. Your main photo should generally represent how you will look when you meet someone on a date. Including a photo in which you are doing an activity that you enjoy is also a good idea, as it illustrates an aspect of your personality.
As a Relationship Coach, I regularly help clients create and makeover their online dating profiles for sites like Match.com and Jdate.com. I can pick up men and women of any age with the written word! It's all about the profile. Here are some tips for how to make the most of yours.
Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT
1. Browse other profiles
Your goal in writing your online dating profile should be to make yourself stand out from the rest of the pack. Read profiles of both male and female members on the sites to which you subscribe to get a general feel for what people are communicating about themselves online. You can borrow an idea or two from a really well-written profile, but try not to copy others or sound to cliché. Your profile should be written from your own unique voice.
2. Show - don’t tell
It is much better to paint a picture of yourself using creative, personal descriptions and life experiences than to simply string together a list of adjectives that can be used to describe just about anyone. If you were the type of guy who appreciates a lady with a sense of humor, would you be more likely to contact the girl who describes herself as funny or the one who highlights a few details from a typical encounter with friends that had her laughing until milk nearly runs out of her nose?
3. Lighten up
An online profile is not the place to share even an ounce of negativity about your past relationships. A profile that states what you are looking for in a positive fashion, as opposed to one that lists all of your turn offs, is much more appealing.
4. A picture is worth a thousand words
All of the online dating experts are in agreement when it comes to photos: you must post clear, recent, and high quality photos to get a large volume of responses on any site. Your main photo should generally represent how you will look when you meet someone on a date. Including a photo in which you are doing an activity that you enjoy is also a good idea, as it illustrates an aspect of your personality.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
A Guest Blogger's Take on Phone Etiquette
Dear "It" Girl,
As you know I like to share the wisdom of my fellow "It" girls. After reading an email from Jessica Berdan, a junior at the University of Maryland, who is double majoring in Psychology and Family Science (on the path to becoming a marriage counselor with a concentration in sex therapy), I knew she'd make a great guest blogger. Check out Jessica's opinions below on proper phone etiquette, as well as more entries to come in the near future!
Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT
PS: Pass this advice on to an "It" boy near you. The rules apply!
To text or not to text, that is the question: The Guide to Phone Etiquette
By Jessica Berdan
Now, with all the developments of technology, our generation has a lot more to worry about then past generations. Instead of simply writing a letter or going to someone’s house to interact, now we are faced with the increasing complexity of technology, you can email, bbm, text, call, im or facebook chat. So how much is too too much? How much or how little communication is necessary to maintain interest? Hopefully, the following do’s and don’ts will help:
1.) DON’T: repeat text: The fastest way to turn-off/irritate someone you’re interested in is to repeat text, text more than twice without getting a response in a sitting. If the person isn’t responding then they are: busy, figuring out plans, away from the phone, or not interested in talking. Instead, if you want to discuss a somewhat urgent matter (when you need a response in the next couple hours) it’s better to call instead of texting. I look at texting as similar to my facebook wall, you can leave a message for someone at any time and they will get back to you when they have time, but you know they will get the message. And you wouldn’t post multiple things back to back on people’s walls so why do it on their phone? Note: texting question marks, especially multiple ones is the most annoying, it doesn’t achieve anything making them pointless. Please avoid this at all costs, unless you want to drive someone very far away!
2.) DO: Call, when it’s important: When you have a complex issue to discuss, it can be annoying to text back and forth for hours. In this case, it is better to call. If you call and someone doesn’t answer it is appropriate to text if you need something from them or wanted to ask them a question. If you called to talk, wait for them to call you back when they become available.
3.) DO: Reply promptlyIf you are keeping your options open or trying to figure out plans, don’t leave people hanging. Let them know you will get back to them, and keep your word. Another thing people find annoying is saying you’re going to call back and then not doing it because you got caught up in other things. Don’t say you’ll call back if you don’t want to, say it when you will actually do it.
4.) DO: Wait to Call/Text….but DON’T: wait too long When you get someone’s number you should wait at least 2 or 3 days to call or text them in order to keep you from looking desperate (unless you’re calling them right away so they have your number). But make sure you call within a week, so they won’t forget who you are, AND so you don’t lose their number (especially when it’s on a business card or something that’s happened to me before). Another time you should wait to call back is when you don’t have much time to talk. It’s vexing when someone calls you back but has to cut you off in the middle of what you’re saying because they are getting on the metro/driving/need to leave/get ready. You can gauge how much people will be on the phone by past phone interactions. As a general rule, women like to talk on the phone for longer than men so I would advise leaving around 30 minutes open for returning a women’s call.
5. ) DON’T: Be Sneaky If someone isn’t answering you, calling them from a different number or calling their house phone is not appropriate. It will make them think: why can’t this person just leave me alone? Ignoring people’s calls are also rude unless you want to make a bold statement that you don’t want to talk to them. It’s pretty obvious when you reach a voicemail after 2 rings that you were ignored.
6.) DON’T: Leave a voicemail This is especially directed to girls: men for the most part, find the voicemail system to be a very long, complicated system so they try to avoid it, unless for professional reasons. One guy I know even let his mailbox fill up so now people can’t leave him any. I wouldn’t suggest doing that because you might miss important calls about professional inquiries or emergency situations. Also sometimes, you’re phone might run out of battery or lose service but you might get some messages when you’re phone resumes about things you missed. Try not to leave voicemails to guys because chances are they won’t get it in a timely fashion and whatever you have to say, you could also text. But leaving voicemails would be acceptable to say a significant other. Leave a cute message (about how you miss them, how much they mean to you) that you would want them listening to over and over like the voice recorder in Build-A-Bear, especially if they are traveling and you’re in different time zones. That way they will get your message and be able to save it for the future.
Finally…..and most important:
7.) DON’T: go through other people’s phones It is considered highly intrusive and nosey to go through someone’s phone. There is a lot of personal texts and maybe pictures that aren’t for everyone’s eyes to see. Ignorance is bliss and most of things you will find, you never even wanted to know. If you have problems trusting your partner, you should work on those issues and strengthen your trust instead of snooping around to dig up dirt. Think about how you would like it someone snooped in your phone, next time you feel the urge.
As you know I like to share the wisdom of my fellow "It" girls. After reading an email from Jessica Berdan, a junior at the University of Maryland, who is double majoring in Psychology and Family Science (on the path to becoming a marriage counselor with a concentration in sex therapy), I knew she'd make a great guest blogger. Check out Jessica's opinions below on proper phone etiquette, as well as more entries to come in the near future!
Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT
PS: Pass this advice on to an "It" boy near you. The rules apply!
To text or not to text, that is the question: The Guide to Phone Etiquette
By Jessica Berdan
Now, with all the developments of technology, our generation has a lot more to worry about then past generations. Instead of simply writing a letter or going to someone’s house to interact, now we are faced with the increasing complexity of technology, you can email, bbm, text, call, im or facebook chat. So how much is too too much? How much or how little communication is necessary to maintain interest? Hopefully, the following do’s and don’ts will help:
1.) DON’T: repeat text: The fastest way to turn-off/irritate someone you’re interested in is to repeat text, text more than twice without getting a response in a sitting. If the person isn’t responding then they are: busy, figuring out plans, away from the phone, or not interested in talking. Instead, if you want to discuss a somewhat urgent matter (when you need a response in the next couple hours) it’s better to call instead of texting. I look at texting as similar to my facebook wall, you can leave a message for someone at any time and they will get back to you when they have time, but you know they will get the message. And you wouldn’t post multiple things back to back on people’s walls so why do it on their phone? Note: texting question marks, especially multiple ones is the most annoying, it doesn’t achieve anything making them pointless. Please avoid this at all costs, unless you want to drive someone very far away!
2.) DO: Call, when it’s important: When you have a complex issue to discuss, it can be annoying to text back and forth for hours. In this case, it is better to call. If you call and someone doesn’t answer it is appropriate to text if you need something from them or wanted to ask them a question. If you called to talk, wait for them to call you back when they become available.
3.) DO: Reply promptlyIf you are keeping your options open or trying to figure out plans, don’t leave people hanging. Let them know you will get back to them, and keep your word. Another thing people find annoying is saying you’re going to call back and then not doing it because you got caught up in other things. Don’t say you’ll call back if you don’t want to, say it when you will actually do it.
4.) DO: Wait to Call/Text….but DON’T: wait too long When you get someone’s number you should wait at least 2 or 3 days to call or text them in order to keep you from looking desperate (unless you’re calling them right away so they have your number). But make sure you call within a week, so they won’t forget who you are, AND so you don’t lose their number (especially when it’s on a business card or something that’s happened to me before). Another time you should wait to call back is when you don’t have much time to talk. It’s vexing when someone calls you back but has to cut you off in the middle of what you’re saying because they are getting on the metro/driving/need to leave/get ready. You can gauge how much people will be on the phone by past phone interactions. As a general rule, women like to talk on the phone for longer than men so I would advise leaving around 30 minutes open for returning a women’s call.
5. ) DON’T: Be Sneaky If someone isn’t answering you, calling them from a different number or calling their house phone is not appropriate. It will make them think: why can’t this person just leave me alone? Ignoring people’s calls are also rude unless you want to make a bold statement that you don’t want to talk to them. It’s pretty obvious when you reach a voicemail after 2 rings that you were ignored.
6.) DON’T: Leave a voicemail This is especially directed to girls: men for the most part, find the voicemail system to be a very long, complicated system so they try to avoid it, unless for professional reasons. One guy I know even let his mailbox fill up so now people can’t leave him any. I wouldn’t suggest doing that because you might miss important calls about professional inquiries or emergency situations. Also sometimes, you’re phone might run out of battery or lose service but you might get some messages when you’re phone resumes about things you missed. Try not to leave voicemails to guys because chances are they won’t get it in a timely fashion and whatever you have to say, you could also text. But leaving voicemails would be acceptable to say a significant other. Leave a cute message (about how you miss them, how much they mean to you) that you would want them listening to over and over like the voice recorder in Build-A-Bear, especially if they are traveling and you’re in different time zones. That way they will get your message and be able to save it for the future.
Finally…..and most important:
7.) DON’T: go through other people’s phones It is considered highly intrusive and nosey to go through someone’s phone. There is a lot of personal texts and maybe pictures that aren’t for everyone’s eyes to see. Ignorance is bliss and most of things you will find, you never even wanted to know. If you have problems trusting your partner, you should work on those issues and strengthen your trust instead of snooping around to dig up dirt. Think about how you would like it someone snooped in your phone, next time you feel the urge.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
"It" girl talk: a word of caution
Dear "It" Girl,
If you ever felt like you "did it for the story" or that half the fun of being in a relationship is telling your girlfriends all the juicy details, today's entry is for you.
The truth is how you communicate about your relationship may have just as significant of an effect on your relationship as how you communicate with your partner does. The language we use and the stories we tell others influence our beliefs, thoughts, and actions. If we have the power to clean up the narratives that are filled with negativity-the ones that really hinder how we come to think of our relationships- we can learn to protect our relationships from the negative influence of others.
Some tips are as follows:
1. Be careful who you seek advice from. Even the most-well meaning of friends can have biases and negative experiences from their own relationships that will taint their perspective on your relationship.
2. Don’t reveal extremely personal details about your partner or relationship when you are angry that you would otherwise keep private. You may come to regret such revelations when you forgive your partner and learn that your friends and family may be less forgiving.
3. Pay attention to the way you talk about your relationship, because your monologues and dialogues may reveal your true, unconscious feelings. What are you saying; what aren’t you saying? If you are making every detail a drama for your friends to analyze, ask yourself why. Is it a fun way to bond or a pattern of yours? Are you bored or craving attention? Are you telling your friends things that you are unable to tell your partner.
If you really stop to think about the impact of your communications with others on your relationship, your discoveries may amaze you.
Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT
If you ever felt like you "did it for the story" or that half the fun of being in a relationship is telling your girlfriends all the juicy details, today's entry is for you.
The truth is how you communicate about your relationship may have just as significant of an effect on your relationship as how you communicate with your partner does. The language we use and the stories we tell others influence our beliefs, thoughts, and actions. If we have the power to clean up the narratives that are filled with negativity-the ones that really hinder how we come to think of our relationships- we can learn to protect our relationships from the negative influence of others.
Some tips are as follows:
1. Be careful who you seek advice from. Even the most-well meaning of friends can have biases and negative experiences from their own relationships that will taint their perspective on your relationship.
2. Don’t reveal extremely personal details about your partner or relationship when you are angry that you would otherwise keep private. You may come to regret such revelations when you forgive your partner and learn that your friends and family may be less forgiving.
3. Pay attention to the way you talk about your relationship, because your monologues and dialogues may reveal your true, unconscious feelings. What are you saying; what aren’t you saying? If you are making every detail a drama for your friends to analyze, ask yourself why. Is it a fun way to bond or a pattern of yours? Are you bored or craving attention? Are you telling your friends things that you are unable to tell your partner.
If you really stop to think about the impact of your communications with others on your relationship, your discoveries may amaze you.
Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT
Monday, August 10, 2009
Texting And Your Love Life, Take III
Dear "It" Girl,
I can't cover this topic enought. It seems like the power of those little texts is affecting all of our lives in so many ways.
Studies show that texting while driving can be dangerous, but can the recent trend also have a negative impact on your relationships? While there are indeed positive aspects to staying in close contact with your significant other via text, it is possible that texting could put a strain on your relationship. If you are concerned that texting has become an issue, seriously ponder the following questions. If you get answers that you dislike, you may want to consider a texting hiatus to improve communication with your relationship. If you answer yes to more than the majority of these questions, it may be a good idea to make some changes in the way you use text messages with your partner.
1. Do you feel uncomfortable when having to cancel plans or deliver bad news on the phone because you have become used to doing such via text?
2. Do you find it difficult to “read” your partner through text and find yourself getting upset over the nature and frequency (or lack thereof) of his/her responses?
3. Does texting interfere with your ability to focus on your partner and be in the moment while with him/her on a regular basis?
4. Has there been a considerable decrease in your telephone or face-to-face conversation?
Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT
I can't cover this topic enought. It seems like the power of those little texts is affecting all of our lives in so many ways.
Studies show that texting while driving can be dangerous, but can the recent trend also have a negative impact on your relationships? While there are indeed positive aspects to staying in close contact with your significant other via text, it is possible that texting could put a strain on your relationship. If you are concerned that texting has become an issue, seriously ponder the following questions. If you get answers that you dislike, you may want to consider a texting hiatus to improve communication with your relationship. If you answer yes to more than the majority of these questions, it may be a good idea to make some changes in the way you use text messages with your partner.
1. Do you feel uncomfortable when having to cancel plans or deliver bad news on the phone because you have become used to doing such via text?
2. Do you find it difficult to “read” your partner through text and find yourself getting upset over the nature and frequency (or lack thereof) of his/her responses?
3. Does texting interfere with your ability to focus on your partner and be in the moment while with him/her on a regular basis?
4. Has there been a considerable decrease in your telephone or face-to-face conversation?
Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
How to understand your new man
Dear "It" Girl,
I'm excited to share an article I just wrote for Examiner.com, where I am the NY New Relationships Examiner. To view the original article, as well as photos, comments, and my homepage, please visit http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-16349-NY-New-Relationships-Examiner~y2009m8d4-How-to-understand-your-new-man.
I've been getting great feedback on this article, and I would love to hear your own! Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT
How to understand your new man
When we ladies start a new relationship, we sometimes delude our minds into thinking things about our new man we will later realize just aren't true. We might have learned that Cinderella lied, as we discovered that no past relationship included a man with a slipper who could be the total source of our happiness. However, we are often still susceptible to faulty judgment in that initial lustful state. When we bond with a guy who shares a lot of similar interests and values, we may think we'll live happily after, because he is actually like one of us. While some men really are a different breed and share common attributes with females-like the desire to have great hair, be loved, and avoid pain-they really are quite a different species. Your understanding of the following universal male truths can be used to your (as well as his) advantage. To understand your new man, you must accept the following:
Men are gross. While those who have gone the longest without a woman's influence are the nastiest of the bunch, date enough and you will soon realize that even the ones you think are as polished as a diamond are really just diamonds in the rough. While their grossness usually includes "bad boy behavior" of the burping- nose- picking-farting variety, it can also include anything from "shady" behavior with friends and other women to the contents of their refrigerators. (Umm yeah, ever been to a frat house?) Although you should speak up to encourage small changes in your man from the start, (i.e. No garlic chips in bed, please.), your best bet is to let alot of this behavior slide. Boys will be boys, and it's good to let them jump around and do what they do best for a hot minute or two. If they treat you well, but tend to pick up dirty laundry off the floor and wear it to work several days in a row, does it really matter?
They don't want to talk about it. Yes, there are plenty of great men who value open communication and problem solving in their relationships, but there are plenty a great more who don't care to discuss half the details that you do. Pick and choose your battles in terms of what needs discussion, and be smart about the time you choose to initiate the conversation. Research indicates that a relationship can actually improve when a woman does not push an issue and allows her man to retreat to his infamous "man cave" every now and then.
Men are simple and don't get it when you make things complicated. For a lot of guys, the general rule of thumb is say-what-you-mean. (Now, if only they would mean what they say!) Although it may be difficult and awkward for us to express our true desires, we must do so if we have any hope of recruiting our men to our cause. You are on the same team, no? Spell it out clearly or he is likely to have no idea what you are talking about. If your new man is a good guy, he wants to make you happy. He just doesn't know how. Men do not respond well to hints, but they do respond to direct requests from the women they care about. Stop thinking he should know what you want. He doesn't. Get over it.
Men want you to want them. (But not too much!) If you can only guess your new boyfriend's middle name, but are clearly hungry for him to meet the parents, buy you a ring, and father your babies, start simultaneously dating other men NOW. Men sense desperation miles away, and if your degree of investment in the relationship is far more than their own, they will run-not walk-away. You need to see other people even if it's the last thing you want to do.
And lastly................................
Boys just want to have fun! Okay, so maybe there are some considerable common denominators in the battle of the sexes after all! If you want that loving feeling to last, you better make sure that you two are enjoying yourseves to the max. If you are with the right man, you should be having fun even when you aren't supposed to being having fun. (Funerals, hospital visits, etc.). The key to a great relationship is not necessarily commitment; although trust must be there or at least brewing. The best thing you can do in addition to pursuing happiness in your own separate lives, is to lighten up and have fun together. Yes, we all want the guy who stays to clean up after the party is over. Just make sure you know how to throw a good party!
I'm excited to share an article I just wrote for Examiner.com, where I am the NY New Relationships Examiner. To view the original article, as well as photos, comments, and my homepage, please visit http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-16349-NY-New-Relationships-Examiner~y2009m8d4-How-to-understand-your-new-man.
I've been getting great feedback on this article, and I would love to hear your own! Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT
How to understand your new man
When we ladies start a new relationship, we sometimes delude our minds into thinking things about our new man we will later realize just aren't true. We might have learned that Cinderella lied, as we discovered that no past relationship included a man with a slipper who could be the total source of our happiness. However, we are often still susceptible to faulty judgment in that initial lustful state. When we bond with a guy who shares a lot of similar interests and values, we may think we'll live happily after, because he is actually like one of us. While some men really are a different breed and share common attributes with females-like the desire to have great hair, be loved, and avoid pain-they really are quite a different species. Your understanding of the following universal male truths can be used to your (as well as his) advantage. To understand your new man, you must accept the following:
Men are gross. While those who have gone the longest without a woman's influence are the nastiest of the bunch, date enough and you will soon realize that even the ones you think are as polished as a diamond are really just diamonds in the rough. While their grossness usually includes "bad boy behavior" of the burping- nose- picking-farting variety, it can also include anything from "shady" behavior with friends and other women to the contents of their refrigerators. (Umm yeah, ever been to a frat house?) Although you should speak up to encourage small changes in your man from the start, (i.e. No garlic chips in bed, please.), your best bet is to let alot of this behavior slide. Boys will be boys, and it's good to let them jump around and do what they do best for a hot minute or two. If they treat you well, but tend to pick up dirty laundry off the floor and wear it to work several days in a row, does it really matter?
They don't want to talk about it. Yes, there are plenty of great men who value open communication and problem solving in their relationships, but there are plenty a great more who don't care to discuss half the details that you do. Pick and choose your battles in terms of what needs discussion, and be smart about the time you choose to initiate the conversation. Research indicates that a relationship can actually improve when a woman does not push an issue and allows her man to retreat to his infamous "man cave" every now and then.
Men are simple and don't get it when you make things complicated. For a lot of guys, the general rule of thumb is say-what-you-mean. (Now, if only they would mean what they say!) Although it may be difficult and awkward for us to express our true desires, we must do so if we have any hope of recruiting our men to our cause. You are on the same team, no? Spell it out clearly or he is likely to have no idea what you are talking about. If your new man is a good guy, he wants to make you happy. He just doesn't know how. Men do not respond well to hints, but they do respond to direct requests from the women they care about. Stop thinking he should know what you want. He doesn't. Get over it.
Men want you to want them. (But not too much!) If you can only guess your new boyfriend's middle name, but are clearly hungry for him to meet the parents, buy you a ring, and father your babies, start simultaneously dating other men NOW. Men sense desperation miles away, and if your degree of investment in the relationship is far more than their own, they will run-not walk-away. You need to see other people even if it's the last thing you want to do.
And lastly................................
Boys just want to have fun! Okay, so maybe there are some considerable common denominators in the battle of the sexes after all! If you want that loving feeling to last, you better make sure that you two are enjoying yourseves to the max. If you are with the right man, you should be having fun even when you aren't supposed to being having fun. (Funerals, hospital visits, etc.). The key to a great relationship is not necessarily commitment; although trust must be there or at least brewing. The best thing you can do in addition to pursuing happiness in your own separate lives, is to lighten up and have fun together. Yes, we all want the guy who stays to clean up after the party is over. Just make sure you know how to throw a good party!
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Some thoughts on achieving intimacy
Dear "It" Girl,
Yesterday's blog entry was about women with problems having intimacy. Let's just take a moment to define it as the female sharing of oneself, her emotions, and her sexuality with a heterosexual partner, including the parts of herself that she deems as unworthy to others. Accomplishing such is very difficult for many women to do for a whole host of reasons. (Don't even get me started on challenges with men!)
Increased intimacy may be associated with a positive change in core beliefs, and Narrative Therapy, as I mentioned, promotes such by deconstructing dominant cultural discourses about relationships. Clearly, the dominant culture has a lot to say about love, including notions of its’ importance, strategies to help people find and maintain it, as well as the negative implications for people who are incapable of acquiring it. In addition, dominant discourses paint a picture of relationships that fail to parallel reality, as they are portrayed as conflict–free unions in which both partners read each others’ minds and live as happily ever after as Cinderella and her prince.
"It" Girl, today, I challenge you to get real. You don't have to go to therapy to do that; although, it can certainly facilitate the promise. Learn to separate your beliefs from the beliefs of your friends/family/society, to differentiate between what you want and what they want for you, and to learn the difference between reality and fantasy. Soon, you'll be on your way to a much healthier worldview and truly intimate partnerships!
Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT
Yesterday's blog entry was about women with problems having intimacy. Let's just take a moment to define it as the female sharing of oneself, her emotions, and her sexuality with a heterosexual partner, including the parts of herself that she deems as unworthy to others. Accomplishing such is very difficult for many women to do for a whole host of reasons. (Don't even get me started on challenges with men!)
Increased intimacy may be associated with a positive change in core beliefs, and Narrative Therapy, as I mentioned, promotes such by deconstructing dominant cultural discourses about relationships. Clearly, the dominant culture has a lot to say about love, including notions of its’ importance, strategies to help people find and maintain it, as well as the negative implications for people who are incapable of acquiring it. In addition, dominant discourses paint a picture of relationships that fail to parallel reality, as they are portrayed as conflict–free unions in which both partners read each others’ minds and live as happily ever after as Cinderella and her prince.
"It" Girl, today, I challenge you to get real. You don't have to go to therapy to do that; although, it can certainly facilitate the promise. Learn to separate your beliefs from the beliefs of your friends/family/society, to differentiate between what you want and what they want for you, and to learn the difference between reality and fantasy. Soon, you'll be on your way to a much healthier worldview and truly intimate partnerships!
Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT
Monday, August 3, 2009
Practical solutions for problems with intimacy
Dear "It" Girl,
Unfortunately, there are many women who are susceptible to the influence of the media and those around them often start to believe that there is something inherently wrong with them that prevents their meeting a compatible match and falling in love.
As a professional Matchmaker and Relationship Coach , I have met countless women who’ve blamed themselves for the failures in their love lives. Often, they define themselves by their real and imagined disorders or blame their core personality traits for the maintenance of their relationship problems.
If you find yourself relating to such, I suggest you look into Narrative Therapy. There is a strategy of externalization of the problem may be helpful to you, as it will encourage you to look at the factors in their larger cultural context that contribute to your problem. A qualified therapist can help you separate yourself from your behaviors. He or she can help you see that you are more than their disorders and negative personality traits. You can learn that there is a healthy part of yourself that is capable of intimacy. This new belief can be the foundation for change in your behaviors and interactions.
Want to know a little more about how all these great things can be accomplished within Narrative Therapy? Hint: Journal assignments can work wonders. Have you ever used letter writing to work through a problem? (This can include "letters never sent".)One of my favorite exercises is when people can write letters to themselves. I once had a client who wrote from both the perspective of an unhealthy self and a healthy self, with the healthy self writing a response back to the unhealthy self. She progressed beautifully throughout the duration of our therapy sessions.
Don't worry if you are one of the ladies who is more interested in speaking than writing, as the same activity can be completed verbally with the use dialogue and role playing in sessions. Still want to know more? Google: Michael White
Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT
Unfortunately, there are many women who are susceptible to the influence of the media and those around them often start to believe that there is something inherently wrong with them that prevents their meeting a compatible match and falling in love.
As a professional Matchmaker and Relationship Coach , I have met countless women who’ve blamed themselves for the failures in their love lives. Often, they define themselves by their real and imagined disorders or blame their core personality traits for the maintenance of their relationship problems.
If you find yourself relating to such, I suggest you look into Narrative Therapy. There is a strategy of externalization of the problem may be helpful to you, as it will encourage you to look at the factors in their larger cultural context that contribute to your problem. A qualified therapist can help you separate yourself from your behaviors. He or she can help you see that you are more than their disorders and negative personality traits. You can learn that there is a healthy part of yourself that is capable of intimacy. This new belief can be the foundation for change in your behaviors and interactions.
Want to know a little more about how all these great things can be accomplished within Narrative Therapy? Hint: Journal assignments can work wonders. Have you ever used letter writing to work through a problem? (This can include "letters never sent".)One of my favorite exercises is when people can write letters to themselves. I once had a client who wrote from both the perspective of an unhealthy self and a healthy self, with the healthy self writing a response back to the unhealthy self. She progressed beautifully throughout the duration of our therapy sessions.
Don't worry if you are one of the ladies who is more interested in speaking than writing, as the same activity can be completed verbally with the use dialogue and role playing in sessions. Still want to know more? Google: Michael White
Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
BlogCatalog
