How to get what you want from men

Dear "It" Girl,

If you are looking to take your relationship to the next level, you may think that you should focus on making your man happy-showing him how special he is to you, ensuring that he is having fun, and doing everything you can to make sure that he is pleased with you.
While these things are all of great importance, you must not lose focus on a secret that many women know-you have to make sure that he is taking care of your needs first. He will actually have a greater respect and desire to commit to you if he gets into the habit of thinking about your well being and doing things for you. If you really want him to care about you, you must first care about yourself.
When it comes to dating men whose tendency may often lean toward self-centeredness, you must be super assertive to be sure that you are getting what you want and deserve out of the relationship. Two tips to have your way with your man are as follows:
1. Tell him what the deal is: Always let your man know as clearly as possible what your needs are.
2. Say NO: Don't agree to things that you are uncomfortable with or unwilling to do.
Ultimately, following these tips will help you act in a way that is most true to your self and put you in this position to create and maintain the relationship of your dreams.

Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT

Should you “dump the chump”? Two questions to consider when you wonder if you should call it quits!

Dear "It" Girl,

Have you ever been in a relationship in which you really liked the guy but could not fight the nagging feeling that the relationship really wasn't right for you? Whether you are currently in a relationship that is clearly dead end or worried that you are going somewhere with Mr. Wrong, you have to decide how much time you want to spend with a guy you are doubting.

Although a break-up seems like a complicated decision-as lots of feelings are involved- if you have your own best interest at heart, the answer bolis down to your response to two simple questions.

1. Are you focusing your energy on a man who does not have an equal focus of energy on you?
   
2. Do you love him more than you love you?
   

If you can answer "yes" to either of these questions, it is time to change your feelings, thoughts, and behavior. You need to start putting yourself first and becoming passionate about your own life if you want a man to be passionate about you.

Love, Rachel Russo, MS. MFT

 

 

Three ways women sabotage relationships

Dear "It" Girl,

We are all human. We are all allowed to make mistakes. However, if we ladies want relationships with men who really care about and respect us, we must vow not to commit a few of the most deadly relationship sins. If your man is not acting the way you want him to, you may be consciously or unconsciously doing something that encourages his bad behavior. If you are making the following three mistakes, you could be sabotaging your current relationship. See if you are guilty, by reading my article here: http://beautiesonthego.ning.com/group/relationships/forum/topics/three-ways-women-sabotage

Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT

 

 

 

 

 

The path to love starts with ditching your foolish pride.

Dear "It" Girl,

If you want to find a great relationship, it may mean getting over your foolish pride. Perhaps, it'll imply quitting the playing hard to get game or shortening the laundry list of must have male traits. For a lot of women, foolish pride is holding on to the belief that superficial characteristics in man will determine their compatibility. They hold on to their "standards" closer than their favorite designer clutch bags! From strict requirements about the age range they are willing to date to their refusal to date any man shorter than 5'10''- even when they themselves are 5'4''-these women are missing out on quality men.

We all have attraction templates that determine who we find most desirable. (i.e. Your first love had black spikey hair and you can't kick the penchant!) However, there comes a time in which a smart women realizes there is more to a quality man than what meets the eye. (And, it isn't the hair that will keep her happy years later!) In his new book A Crash Course To Love, my boss, Steve Ward, reveals the three attributes of a healthy, satisfying relationship: communication, trust, and respect. In my opinion, this is the winning combination and the most ideal path to love. Hard work is required, so make sure both you and your man are up for the challenge!

Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT

Complimentary Matchmaking Memberships For The Great Guys You Know

Dear "It" Girl,

If he was thaaaat great, you would be dating him already, no? Maybe not! Maybe he is your brother, cousin, ex boyfriend, co-workers, father, or truly platonic male best friend. Well, hook him up, girlfriend!

The matchmaking company for which I work, Master Matchmakers, has been slammed with inquiries from single women since the premiere of the second season of our show,
VH1's Tough Love, on November 15th.

I am looking to recruit a few good men-single, educated, professionals, who are generally considered good looking would be ideal!

If you know a great guy who would like to be considered for a complimentary membership to one of the best matchmaking agencies around, encourage him to get started today.

Have him log on to www.mastermatchmakers.com. Click on the” Get Started “
tab. Fill out the Personal Information, About Yourself, and Additional
Information. In the first box, it says “Tell us about yourself.” For
your first sentence, please have him type in Rachel Russo recruited me, so that
this information will be delivered to my inbox.

Have him submit this info along with a recent photo at your earliest convenience. (The preference is just to have said great guy in the photo. A clear headshot and/or body shot is ideal, and his shirt should be on!)

Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT
PS: This will be really great karma for you!

Are you settling or settling down?

Dear "It" Girl,

Sometimes, women in their twenties think that they have all the time in the world before they have to worry about settling down with Mr. Right. However, youth really is wasted on the young. When it comes to finding a future hubby, this translates into women wasting their most precious years with poor excuses for men. While it is wise to play the field with a variety of guys to find out your dislikes and likes, consider having a shorter run with a guy you know barely measures up. Please, be careful about investing in potential.

If your goal is to find a serious relationship in the near future, you must realize that the sun doesn't shine forever. Men are visual creatures and things are going to start sagging before you know it. Why not capitalize on your good looks and youthful energy while you still can?! Your whole life is ahead of you. Who you are with now can seriously impact your future.

Don't waste your prime with men who don't value you for who you are. Say goodbye to the ones who don't make the effort to keep you happy. If he doesn't ask how your day was and kiss you like he means it, you could be missing out on someone who will. What is it that you are getting out of remaining in this relationship? If you aren't getting much, but you can't shake your affection for Mr. Right Now, at the very least, make sure your options are open. Ask yourself the ultimate question: Do you want to settle or settle down?

Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT

For ladies who rock at work

Dear "It" Girl,

I have a great blog recommendation that will inspire and support the fabulous female entrepreneurs among you.

Recently, I was interviewed for this blog, http://www.shetakesontheworld.com/. You can go to the site and check out my Nov 6^th interview for more details on my work as a Relationship Coach and Matchmaker, as well as gain insight into a typical day in my heels there.

Be sure to browse around on the site, as there is a lot of helpful information and suggestions to help you rock in the workplace.

Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT

Must read advice for anyone on an online dating website

Dear “It” Girl,

It has been quite a while since I have written on the subject of online dating, but a quick glance through the inbox of a coaching client shows that both men and women need assistance in contacting romantic prospects from online dating websites. Now is as good a time as ever to check out some tips as featured in my article on Beauties on The Go. Read “Tips for writing an effective online dating message to a potential match” here:

http://beautiesonthego.ning.com/group/relationships/forum/topics/tips-for-writing-an-effective

Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT

There will always be another message in your inbox.

Dear "It" Girl,

There will also be another task to cross off on your to do list, another person to call, another errand to run. On most days, there will also be another day to do all of the above.

Are you living your life as if everything is an emergency that must be completed as soon as possible? Do you feel like once you get through your list you can finally have fun?

Do you have the tendency to wait to enjoy yourself on the vacation you'll never take?

If so, you must slow down and smell those roses. Life is meant to be lived now. Ditch the play clothes. Wear good underwear, eat on fine china, and dare to miss a deadline or two.

You have heard that it's not about getting from Point A to Point B but the journey that really counts, so why are you still racing around trying to be Superwoman? At this pace, you are surely neglecting yourself and your loved ones. How can you ever in be in touch with who you are, what you want, and bring (and keep) love in your life, if you are still worrying about that darn inbox?

 

Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT\

Dating trends: Cougars, pumas, and young cubs

Dear "It" Girl,

Older men have been dating younger women since the beginning of time.
As sex roles and gender socialization have changed, new trends have
emerged. Say hello to the cougars and pumas of the twenty first
century. For more about the desires of these women and the appeal of
their young cubs, check out the article I wrote for Beauties on the
Go "Dating trends: Cougars, pumas, and young cubs". Just copy the link below into your browser.

http://beautiesonthego.ning.com/group/relationships/forum/topics/dating-trends-cougars-pumas

Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT