How to attract a man who’d be glad to do the dishes

Dear "It" Girl,

"When a man looks at you, does he see somebody he wants to spend the rest of his life with? Or does he see someone who will give him a hard time about doing the dishes and taking out the trash?"

This is a line straight out of an article "What Men Want," written by relationship expert, Alexandra Fox. There is such brilliance in this quote, that I just had to blog about it!

I, too, have written about what men want. In case you didn't catch it, check out the December 1, 2009 entry of this blog which also happens to be entitled "What Men Want". Want the Cliff Notes? In my opinion, the top three things that most men want out of a relationship are great sex, great fun, and a whole lot of loyalty!

I think Alexandra's quote can fall into the "great fun" category, inspiring women to be the type that men crave. A woman who is a nag is not going to be regarded as very fun. In defense of the women living with/married to one of the many men on the planet who despises taking out the trash and doing the dishes, nagging often seems like a natural and inevitable reaction.

You may wonder how else you'd get him to do the dishes?! Think outside of the box, "It" Girl, as there are alternatives that are equally effective-like never doing the dishes and therefore forcing your man to do at least one dish-or, perhaps, purchase paper plates. On the other hand, the kind of woman a man would love to marry would probably find some fun, creative way to get him to do the damn dishes. (Ideally, such a strategy would involve oral sex or some other activity that would provide comparable enjoyment!)

The point is, when you first meet a man, you can instantly increase your "wifey factor" by appearing to be open minded, easy going, and fun. Bonus points if you actually are open minded, easy going, and fun! However, as Alexandra and I have both illustrated in our writing, you can, indeed, "fake it until you make it".

Above all, despite the fact that they love the thrill of the chase, men also like relationships that mostly feel effortless and easy. If you can co-create a relationship of this nature, you may just find a man who would be glad to do the dishes!

Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT