Real men use forks….but sometimes like to spoon!

Dear "It" Girl,

Did you know that "real men" wear pink? Perhaps you've heard that they also: drink beer, eat meat and potatoes, like football, despise the words "We need to talk," hibernate in caves after work, don't like to cuddle, leave the toilet seat up, refuse to ask for directions, never cry, and fall asleep immediately after sex.

While some of these statements will seem like universal male truths to a lot of the women who date men, many are outdated notions of a rigid conformity to what it means to be stereotypically male, and they are poisoning the minds and relationships of women like you.

Buying into these beliefs can be a roadblock to creating and maintaining a satisfying romantic relationship. If you desire real love, you must sit down and honestly analyze your beliefs about men that could be preventing you from finding such. Here are three reasons to detox of all such stereotypes today:

1. You are missing out, girlfriend, on plenty of fish in the sea. Did you ever consider the fact that there are endless possibilities for characteristics that make up a real man? A man that you could be really compatible with. In case you haven't heard, real men: fancy red wine (okay, or white), are vegetarians, have passions beyond sports, are emotionally communicative (even after work), enjoy spooning instead of sleeping post-booty, know how to put down the toilet seat, and realize that asking directions is sometimes as likely be as useful as Marley & Me is to produce tears.
   

   
    

2. Stereotypes make you look like a "tard". If you hold all these outdated notions as close as your favorite clutch, you are bound to do and say something stupid! Contrary to popular belief, real men actually like smart women. They will feel offended, judged unfairly, and turned off by your ignorance. Not what you were going for, huh?
   

   
    

3. You create a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you don't know what this is, you must have been sleeping during PSYCH 101 after too many nights of collegiate boozing with "real men". In essence, what you are doing is believing stereotypes about men, projecting them out into the world, and only attracting men who epitomize these stereotypes. No wearing a wonder they all cheat on you. (Sorry, but you are basically wearing a sign on your back that reads "Come play me".)
   

On a positive note, you now have some food for thought. You have a reason to change your beliefs and a tool to change your life! Go get them!

Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT