Is he faking it?

Dear "It" Girl,

A wise man once said: "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything." A wise woman asks: "Is my man fooling me?"

Rewind to your past relationships. Have you ever fallen for a guy who has treated you badly, because you settled into a relationship before deciding if he was even who you wanted? (You know the type in which you are just hanging out, barely calling it dating, and then suddenly you're his girlfriend?)

A happy love life is all about having a vision, setting boundaries, and sticking to them. (If you don't know what you want, how will you get it?!) Did you give him a chance because he was the only one showing interest? Remember, just because he's the only one up at bat does not mean he deserves to take a swing. Sometimes having nothing with "no one" is better than having something with "someone". Ask yourself why you are settling for chop meat when you deserve filet migeon. Is there a payoff or are you paying a price?

Certain men have a way of making women compromise their standards by settling for relationships or non-relationships that they never ordered. Perhaps it's their dimples or the fact that they are really good between the sheets that allows them to have a power over the women in their lives. A lot of times these men seem to have reciprocal feelings for their women-whether they have an official title or not-but there is always the chance that they are faking it.

Another quote comes to mind: "Women fake orgasms, men fake relationships." Too much of a gender stereotype? Perhaps- yet there is a kernel of truth about men hiding their true feelings for the sake of keeping a relationship that they enjoy. (i..e. Maybe he doesn't loooove you, but he loves what you do for him/with him and therefore leads you to believe he is more invested in the relationship than he really is!)

"It" girl, it is up to you to decide what you will and will not put up with from men. You draw the line. You shoot him down when he tries to cross it!

Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT