He’s Just That Into You: Look for these clues!

Dear "It" Girl,

Do you sometimes feel that men are hard to read? Does it seem that on one day they are all about you and on the next they are barely acknowledge your existence?

If you are dealing with a man who is hot and cold for the long term, my heart goes out to you. It can be incredibly difficult to tell how he really feels even if you think you know him well after you've been involved with him for many months. With the emotionally unexpressive and seemingly non-communicative variety of man, you must look directly at his behavior. This is where the old-actions-speak-louder-than-words-adage applies. Look at a consistent willingness to listen to your worries and an eagerness to do favors and take care of you as a surefire sign of a man who is emotionally invested in the idea of you and him in a relationship. But, be careful about making judgments that negate his commitment to you over failing to do little things-like the dishes-without considering your own behavior.

My "It" Boy, Chris Stokes, has recently shared some insight on this, in response to my January 18^th blog "Men and Dishes" He writes:

"I find often times, it depends how you ask someone to do something. If you come across as demanding and authoritative then a natural response is to show resistance and be defensive. However, asking politely mixed in with a little flattery and flirtation might lead to a pleasant surprise that your man will do the dishes. Ultimately, if you truly have a solid relationship and your partner truly cares about you and making you happy then they will surely do things that will bring about happiness to their partner."

You may be thinking, well, yes of course, a man who wants to make me happy will do stuff for me, but wondering how to know if he's into before you get to the stage of coupledom in which he actually has the opportunities to do things for you-like your dishes.

When it comes to a new guy that you have just met or started dating, it should be relatively simple to gauge his level of interest if you understand the ways in which men reveal their attraction. I am not talking about the frequency of calls and texts here, I am talking about actual clues-from facial expressions to body language- that make it undeniably clear that he's just that into you.

I've recently come across a great article, by Associated Content author, Lori Kremen, "Is He Into You?," that really outlines the major clues of major attraction for you. You can check it out here:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/485115/is_he_into_you.html?cat=41

Hopefully, this will all shed some light on the unsolved mystery of your current man!

Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT