“Eff” That Dirty Laundry: Get Your Love Life Off Rinse & Repeat Today!

Dear "It" Girl,

Do you ever feel like you romantic relationships can be defined as one bad love song stuck on repeat? Do you say you want a good guy but keep falling for the same bad boys who get you caught up in a web of lies? Do you feel like you must be wearing a sign or a displaying a doormat that reads "Cheaters are welcome"?

You, my dear friend, keep doing the same dirty laundry over and over. Although your boyfriends may look different on the surface, they all share similar characteristics that attract you to them. That being said, the greatest common denominator in your relationship history is still YOU. There is something about the vibe you give off, the image you portray, or the attitude you possess that has you stuck on rinse and repeat.

Do you have the courage to find out what is threatening you from getting the love you want? Many women don't. It can be scary to ask the guy who never called back after date number one if the "I'm-getting-back-with-my-ex" line was really an excuse to cover up his disinterest in dating a woman like you-let alone ask if there is something specific about you that turns him off. What alternative do you have? Drinking yourself into oblivion so you could hook up with someone else to get over the first guy? Come on now, you are not that kind of girl!

When I coach women at Master Matchmakers, I give them answers to the questions they are afraid to ask and vision for truths they didn't want to see. All of my clients finish our coaching program with insight into the ways they are ruining their chances of a great relationship. If you aren't currently working with a coach or therapist, you should be working with me, silly! OR you are going to have to do some detective work on your own. If you can't afford me, solicit the opinions of your friends and family on what you are doing wrong. If you are really brave, go to the sources themselves: the men- the ones you've bedded, the ones you liked, the ones you loved, and the ones that got away. Because if you don't ask them, how will you ever really know?

Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT