How to Find Fireworks with Your American Boy

Dear “It “ Girl,

Happy 4th of July to all of my American girls! I hope you are enjoying your friends, family, and fun in the sun, as well as reflecting on the meaning of this special holiday.

On the 234th,birthday of the United States of America, I invite you to consider the principles that make this “land of the free and home of the brave” so wonderful.
Interestingly enough, I can draw parallels between the ideals of the country and my notions for healthy and happy relationships.

And, I’m not just referring to fireworks! Yes, we all want those.

If it lasts, chemistry- like the spark we feel when we first lay eyes on him or share a delicious first kiss- can carry a relationship through the rollercoaster of life.

But what America really has in common with healthy relationships is not the firecrackers-which quickly reach their peak and just as quickly fizzle out-but the values of freedom and independence.

Now such will mean different things to different people. For one woman, freedom is a great career and a personal checking account, and for the next, it is a monthly girl’s night out!

In a healthy relationship, both individuals (as well as the relationship between them) reach their maximum potential when they balance their needs for freedom and independence with the needs of their partners.

Often, people do not communicate their deepest needs to their partners, but when they do, they enjoy significant improvement in their relationships.

How do you think incorporating independence and freedom into your relationship would make things better for you and your American boy?

Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT