"You a mom and pop, I'm a corporation."

Dear “It” Girl,

Can you finish those lyrics…and post them to your Facebook wall?

Repeat after me:

“I’m the press conference, you’re a conversation.”

Now specify:

Yes, a conversation that should be over…..because I am way too good for you.

Way too special for that.

Ouch.

So, when it comes to dating successfully, confidence is the name of the game. But it’s not all about strutting your stuff and looking cute boys in the eye while slowly sipping cocktails.

As illustrated above, it’s about ending a relationship with someone who isn’t treating you the way you deserve to be treated, no matter how little you think your chances are of finding someone you’ll feel just as strongly about.

All that and more.

It’s about being confident enough to live your truth-no matter where you are in your love life.

If your “flyin solo,” is it because you have not got over your ex? Is it because you are not putting yourself out there enough? Or are you choosing the wrong guys because you are unconsciously afraid of intimacy ?

Hopefully, it is because you haven’t met the right guy and are confident enough not to settle for less!

If you are in a relationship, are you confident enough to speak your mind even if it means hurting his feelings by sharing painful truths?

If you aren’t communicating what you really feel, then you aren’t communicating who you really are.

Hopefully, you are confident enough to tell it like it is and hope he’ll love you in spite of, or (smile) because of it.

And if not, well, his loss.

Love, Rachel Russo, MS. MFT

How to Find Fireworks with Your American Boy

Dear “It “ Girl,

Happy 4th of July to all of my American girls! I hope you are enjoying your friends, family, and fun in the sun, as well as reflecting on the meaning of this special holiday.

On the 234th,birthday of the United States of America, I invite you to consider the principles that make this “land of the free and home of the brave” so wonderful.
Interestingly enough, I can draw parallels between the ideals of the country and my notions for healthy and happy relationships.

And, I’m not just referring to fireworks! Yes, we all want those.

If it lasts, chemistry- like the spark we feel when we first lay eyes on him or share a delicious first kiss- can carry a relationship through the rollercoaster of life.

But what America really has in common with healthy relationships is not the firecrackers-which quickly reach their peak and just as quickly fizzle out-but the values of freedom and independence.

Now such will mean different things to different people. For one woman, freedom is a great career and a personal checking account, and for the next, it is a monthly girl’s night out!

In a healthy relationship, both individuals (as well as the relationship between them) reach their maximum potential when they balance their needs for freedom and independence with the needs of their partners.

Often, people do not communicate their deepest needs to their partners, but when they do, they enjoy significant improvement in their relationships.

How do you think incorporating independence and freedom into your relationship would make things better for you and your American boy?

Love, Rachel Russo, MS, MFT